01
Many years ago, an entertainment friend of mine interviewed Huang Xiaoming and came back to tell me with emotion that Xiaoming was really a good man.
She described two details to me.
One detail is that there are several media on the scene, and he is polite and considerate to everyone. In the face of tricky problems, I also smile and never get annoyed.
The second detail, when she left that day, found Xiaoming standing at the door for a long time, watching the media friends, that kind of sincerity and humility. Let my friend, who is used to vanity fair, be very moved.
I’ve never had feelings for Huang Xiaoming. But his image as a "nice guy" kept me interested in his observation.
So a few years ago, when the whole network laughed at his arrogance and greasy, and played "I want me to feel, not you" as a stalk, I wrote an article.
I found that his hegemony and arbitrariness have the same underlying logic as his humility and face-saving, that is, there is no strong and stable core, and an external evaluation system is needed to complete self-determination.
Therefore, he is very concerned about the evaluation of others, and he is also very concerned about whether he is strong and can control the field in a team.
However, during that time, he pushed too hard, but it was self-defeating.
A brief study of his resume is not difficult to find the origin of his personality. I was a "good boy" since I was a child, and I was used to being cautious to get everyone’s approval.
Later, because of his good image, he embarked on the road of performing arts, but because he was rejected as "no acting", this road became a proof of riveting strength. He once said that "trying to film is for dignity", which inexplicably made people feel a little sad.
02
One of Huang Xiaoming’s most prominent personality labels may be "a nice guy". He will try his best to be considerate to everyone around him.
This kind of personality will make him feel depressed, but it also makes him to a great extent.
Vanity Fair will certainly enlarge human nature, and it is common with snobbery and indifference of red and white. But human beings are still emotional animals after all, and the warmth brought by Huang Xiaoming’s "goodness" is particularly valuable.
So he is famous for his popularity in your circle.
When I got married, I almost invited half of the first-line stars in the entertainment circle.
Including the ups and downs of these years, it can always usher in the headwind of word of mouth. The reason is that he is "good" and has been popular for a long time.
For example, Huang Xiaoming was the manager of Chinese Restaurant, but he took the initiative to wash dishes silently for six seasons and once went on a hot search.
There is another clip that I am particularly impressed with.
One season was in Bashan. From getting off the bus to the shooting place, you have to walk a long ladder, which is equivalent to 12 floors.
Huang Xiaoming moved the ingredients and helped the ladies with their luggage. She walked back and forth for more than a dozen times, and her clothes were all wet. In the end, all the makeup on my face was spent.
When I saw this clip, I suddenly thought of a sentence, "there is hard work without credit."
The word "hard work" is especially suitable for Huang Xiaoming.
He really works hard, and he would rather suffer for himself in order to take care of others.
This kind of real "hard work" will have a kind of dispelling power, which will make people feel that it will be unbearable to criticize him again. And those who used to ridicule, also vanished with time.
03
But here’s the point. Good guys have their cunning.
After Huang Xiaoming and baby divorced, people didn’t know the real reason, but public opinion seemed to side with Huang Xiaoming. Baby was described as a scheming woman who took advantage of Huang Xiaoming’s resources to reach the top, and then found that he was no longer of use value, so he kicked it away.
This one-sided public opinion suddenly reminds me of Lao Jin in My First Half of Life.
After Luo Zijun and Lao Jin broke up, everyone was scolding Luo Zijun and felt that Lao Jin had been bullied. Including Lao Jin himself. He endured humiliation and felt very wronged, and after breaking up, he felt bitterly that Luo Zijun disliked his lack of money.
This is the cunning of the good guy.
His usual patience and flattery is actually a way to help him accumulate moral capital.
Once there is a rift in his interpersonal relationship, especially his intimate relationship, everyone will blame the problem on the other side without thinking.
I feel that good people are being bullied.
Some people even turned out the gossip of the past, mocking the baby as a mistress and a P friend.
May be immersed in the glory of good people for too long, but forget that a man has a stable girlfriend, to ask other women out … Is there something wrong with this man himself?
04
Another interesting thing about Huang Xiaoming’s emotional gossip is that all the women he meets seem to be good at playing tricks.
It is said that before the baby and Huang Xiaoming got married, they went to Shangmei’s store, took a fancy to a pear-shaped diamond ring, and worried that Huang Xiaoming would not buy it for her because it was too expensive.
So what did she do?
She took a photo of the diamond ring and sent it to social media, forcing Huang Xiaoming to pay for it, because Huang Xiaoming loves face.
Some time ago, there was a modest hot search. Huang Xiaoming and his current girlfriend were skateboarding on the street, which was suspected to be a good thing. However, it was quickly rumored that the vague video was actually a fragment of a program, and the incumbent wanted to force marriage and deliberately created public opinion.
Although the rumor has been refuted, I think it has achieved a certain degree of effect.
Because soon, the gossip media began to pick out the current name, and she let herself have a name in front of the public, which made other competitors retreat.
Why do they all have to play tricks? Because direct expression is useless.
This is also the "cunning" of the nice guy. They seem easy to talk to and even give the impression of being bullied. But when it comes to their own interests, they will not compromise easily, even if it is just a wedding diamond ring.
I know many people feel sorry for Huang Xiaoming. I feel that all the partners he is looking for are much lower than himself, and they are all a little scheming. But after reading so many love-hate stories, I found a universal rule:
In fact, no matter what a person’s external appearance is, what kind of partner you are looking for will expose your inner true appearance.
Huang Xiaoming and his predecessor, the incumbent, must have a very compatible and matching place.
Because of the long-term intimacy, it is impossible to pretend. He must have got what he wanted in a seemingly unbalanced relationship and enjoyed it once.
Original title: "Huang Xiaoming, the cunning of a good man"
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